The Heartbreak Cake

Day in the life of an entrepreneur/human.

My recent Mother’s Day was going fabulously until I was confronted with a customer’s heart cake photo. This has nothing to do with the quality of her photo (I love and appreciate it so much when I get tagged in pics) and everything to do with comparison and perfectionism.

I instantly went spiralling into anxiety. I could not relax.

I kept wishing I’d done better.

I kept trying to justify myself, to myself.

I kept thinking that everyone must hate their cake and would be thinking I’m a phoney and a rip off - HELLO Imposter Syndrome. 

I kept wishing I hadn’t put the price up from last year.

I kept comparing the photos and rehashing the sick feeling in my stomach.

I kept imagining everyone eating their cake and bagging it out. (Geez I hope you weren’t.)

I was waiting for someone to do up a ‘What you paid for vs what you got’ meme.

Could not let it go that I’d accidentally put five pieces of marshmallow instead of the six I had in the promo shot. IDIOT.

When I stopped spiralling and started to come back to reality, I realised…

Customers’ photos will never look as good as your own. There’s a huge difference between a phone camera and a SLR camera, and an even bigger difference between indoor and outdoor lighting.

The cake was never gonna look as good as it did super fresh when i shot it. Kinda like getting glammed up for a night out then looking at your face in a seedy nightclub bathroom at 3am; still hot, but not as fresh.

People love my food and are happy to pay what I charge for it and I’m one hundred percent certain that it tastes amazing. (But seriously, next time count the bloody marshmallows!)

Anxiety is real and totally normal. I’ve never really identified with it but have come to realise it can show up in many forms.

Imposter syndrome is real and one hundred percent part of the entrepreneurial journey.

Writing shit down is the best form of therapy. In the midst of my ordeal (first world problems) I started writing all these points down and that’s what helped me see things for what they really were.

When in doubt of yourself remember who you are and what you came here to do.

No one is thinking about your mistakes as much as you are.

It’s ok to make mistakes.

Learn from them and move on.